You're Only Lonely - JD Souther
Amongst the feedback on my last post, someone pointed out that BBC Radio 3 has created a channel entirely devoted to "romantic" classical music. I didn't believe it. But it's true. It's called Radio 3 Unwind. The blurb includes statements such as: "Unwind is designed to help listeners relax with a curated selection of calming classical music", "warm, soothing compositions that establish Unwind as an immersive audio retreat" and "Unwind is designed to help listeners relax with a curated selection of calming classical music". You couldn't make it up. Creative ambience rules.
Back in the 90's, when I was working in north London, I was sent some music by a local classical composer who wanted me to promote his work. I thought it was slow, ponderous, lush, cosy, warm, sad, but above all, boring. Feeling I didn't have the proper classical expertise and didn't appreciate it, I sent the cd to a friend, a musician in an orchestra, whose opinion I respected. Let's call him, for want of a better title, my "professor in classical music". He replied that although it perhaps wasn't his cup of tea, he thought that other people might like it and the composer was undoubtedly talented.
Several hours later, another email arrived from the "professor" which read as follows:
"Oh bollocks! - I may have been too polite - I'm listening to his 3rd piece again and it's making me want to go out and thump someone!
This is the trouble with trying to be nice and inoffensive - you swallow your words too much. It's horrible music and I hate it. There, I've said it.
Also, you can't sell yourself to the public with pieces called:
Norfolk in the Autumn Light
Dreams of the South
Sea Sunset
Why isn't there one called DIE M*THF*CKA DIE or OH MY LORD THE CONFLICT, THE CONFLICT, IT EATS AT MY SOUL or even I HATE YOU, MRS SEVERS, FOR WHAT YOU DID TO THAT HORSE?
GAAAAAAAHHHH!....(puts head in bucket of cold water)"
JD Souther's greatest hit was "You're Only Lonely", a beautifully subtle homage to Roy Orbison, echoing the structure and rhythm of the Big O's classic "Only the Lonely" while revisiting the male refrain style of his final recordings. It's a masterpiece of easy listening, Souther's snug vocal and Don Grolnick's crescending piano skilfully turning the lonely tone of the song into an exquisite thing of warm comfort. No wonder it reached no 7 in the US charts in 1979.
As far as ambient "calming (classical) music" is concerned, I admit that it's probably alright, even beneficial in small quantities. Just enough to get you off to sleep. But don't blame me if you have nightmares about a world where mediocrity is king.
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